you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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