adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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