So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i think i have herpe
just one?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
