I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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