they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i out mim tonsoeep
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