Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
