I want to walk on stilts...naked
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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