I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She said her name was "party"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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