So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
