He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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