take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
