he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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