Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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