don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
