Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize