we're blogging at a bar
This girl is more easily done than said...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
