I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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