it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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