Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
