im about as happy as oj after his trial
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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