I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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