What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
