the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
