ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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