in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
