because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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