On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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