i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
