You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
