dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
