He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
