I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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