Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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