Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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