I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
