We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
