waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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