Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize