This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
