...so i touched it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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