we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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