i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
