do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She said her name was "party"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
