Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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