DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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