There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
