I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
