I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
My bed smells like the plague
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
