I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
