I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
