did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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