I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
