Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
