I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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