Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
