it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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