someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
