dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
whose ass print is on the piano?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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