I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
